The Inspiration

As I stated previously in another post, I am really bad at talking about my emotions. Even the good ones. But when it comes to letting go of the really bad shit, I really suck at it. However, it's the bad shit that is causing issues for me to move on. But who the hell really wants to spend any amount of time crying over something that happened 15-20 years ago? Who really wants to spend any amount of time crying over anything at all? Not me. I hate experiencing the negative emotions.

Recently I was in a wedding and I was absolutely amazed and blown away by the ceremony. I have worked in the wedding business (its how I met my ex!) and I have attended a number of weddings and I have deemed myself the anti-wedding chick. Because all of them (including my own in 2006) were stage productions, not an actual union of two people completely in love with one another. There is way too much focus on the "perfect" invitations, flowers, dress, and omg do we really need to panic because the ice sculpture is 2 inches shorter than expected? But this wedding I recently was involved with was not like that at all. I truly witnessed two people madly in love with one another, join together and express it for all of us to be a part of. I was left reeling.

About the next day or so I knew I was in for a rough ride as things became quite apparent that I was in dire need of an emotional purge. A dear friend sent me a link about using negative emotions to my own benefit. Imagine that.....a benefit!

So it has begun. I did send a message to one person in which I needed to state my feelings and gratitude for them. But more must be done and I have to dig wayyyy back and start with some others next. Some I will share here, specifically ones that I cannot send to the specific person. Those that I can mail to the individual, will not be posted here. I will be doing these letters weekly, so look for a new post each Wednesday!

What? Yet Another Blog?

So hello there! I am Angela and I have a blog about dating in your late 30's during a divorce and a blog about the things my ex says to our kids. What I didn't have was a blog about the underbelly of divorce. All those painful things that bubble to the surface and the healing process. And it came to me that there really aren't a lot of blogs that share that raw emotion that comes with a divorce. So here I am.

I left my ex in May of 2013. He was emotionally and financially abusive and we were together a total of 17 years (although only married 6 1/2). We have 3 children together and we have joint custody. Since having left him, I have done quite well. I smile a lot, I look at people in the eye, I have decent self esteem about myself, and I don't have near the anger issues I once had. But I am not perfect. I still have loads of baggage that needs to be dealt with. And one thing I don't do well is talking about my emotions.

That's where this blog comes in. I plan on getting raw here. I mean gut-wrenching, tissue-clenching, heart-breaking raw. This isn't meant much more than to help me purge the baggage but if you join me on the journey, hopefully you can learn a thing or two from my own experiences.